Manhattan

I thought this classic to be in order in honor of the [hated] New York Yankees and their [wonderful] exit [by glorious sweep] from the MLB Playoffs [courtesy of the ass-kicking provided by the Detroit Tigers]. 



3 oz            Canadian Whiskey (or American Rye if that's your thing)
1 oz            Sweet Vermouth
3 dashes     Bitters
Maraschino Cherry
Depending on which bartender you speak with, there'll be some debate between shaking and stirring this drink.  However, this is my email, so I'll be the one making the rules here. 

And a Manhattan is to be stirred.

Combine whiskey, vermouth & bitters in a glass with ice
STIR to chill
Strain into rocks glass filled with ice
Garnish with a cherry

The most appropriate topic of conversation for this drink is "Peter Minuit".

Who?

Only the greatest real estate investor ever in the history of ever, that's who!

Purple Hooter

Ladies, you can order and enjoy this shot anytime, anywhere.
Guys, you'll probably wanna be on vacation somewhere sunny AND at a swim-up bar if you want to enjoy this without getting sideways glances from the other patrons.  Unless, of course, you are trolling for that kind of attention... 




1/2 oz   Vodka
1/2 oz   Chambord
splash   7-Up

Put 4-5 ice cubes in a martini shaker
Add ingredients
(prior to the next step, I'd like to emphasize that it only needs a SPLASH of 7-Up)
Shake vigorously
Strain into shot glass

If you aren't the shot type, but this still sounds good, then triple the amount of vodka and add 1 oz of pineapple juice.  Strain into a martini glass for a French Martini.

Due to the name of the shot, I feel the next reference is downright obligatory:

Hey, I'm colorblind.  Those shirts might be purple...

PB&J

The school year is almost over, so that means no more trying to convince your 6-year-old that she really, REALLY does want what is on the school cafeteria menu (even if it's Salisbury Steak) just so you don't have to make another blasted sandwich of this drink's namesake.
Today was easy, though.  Friday is always pizza... 

3/4 oz    Chambord
3/4 oz    Frangelico

Yep, this one's a shot
Fill martini shaker 1/2 with ice
Add liquors
Shake vigorously
Strain into shot glass

OK, so it's not quite PB&J.  It's raspberry and hazelnut.  But it gets the point across. 

And your best friend with the peanut allergy doesn't have to be sequestered in the principal's office to eat his lunch.

Everybody wins!

Brass Monkey

In honor of the dearly-departed MCA...

1.5 oz    Dark Rum
1.5 oz    Vodka
1.5 oz    Orange Juice

(If rum is not your thing, you can always go "street" and mix 2 parts of this with 1 part OJ instead)

Fill highball (or regular 12 oz drinking glass) 3/4 with ice 
Add liquids
Stir

Put your left leg down
Your right leg up
Tilt your head back
Finish the cup...

Blue Hawaiian

1 oz    Light Rum
1 oz    Blue Curacao
2 oz    Pineapple Juice
1 oz    Creme of Coconut

The correct (read: traditional) way to make this drink is as follows, however no one will judge harshly if you choose to incorporate a blender instead:

Fill martini shaker with ice
Add the liquids
Shake vigorously
Pour into highball (or regular 12 oz drinking glass)
Garnish with pineapple slice  

Oh, and: 

  

Laugh if you want about his films...he's still a better actor than the sparkling vampire..

Cosmopolitan

This drink gained a lot of popularity during the run of a certain HBO show starring Sarah Jessica Parker (who, I believe, was a third-place finisher at the Preakness last year...) 




1.5 oz    Vodka
.5 oz      Triple Sec
2 oz       Cranberry Juice
1            Lime Wedge

Put 4-5 ice cubes in a martini shaker
Add the liquids 
Shake vigorously
Strain into chilled martini glass
Garnish with lime wedge

This is a light, refreshing martini that's perfect for a spring afternoon out on the patio while having whimsical conversations about Carrie and her harpy friends how hot Kim Cattrall was in Mannequin...

Presidente Margarita

As some of you know, a lifetime ago I was a drink-slinger at Chili's Bar & Grill.  Their signature drink for years has been the Presidente Margarita.  If you look around on the interwebz, you'll see dozens of different recipes for this drink.  Most of them are wrong on at least one ingredient.  This is the real build:



2 oz    Sauza Tres Generaciones Tequila 
1 oz    Presidente Brandy 
1 oz    Cointreau 
1 oz    Rose's Sweetened Lime Juice 
5 oz    Sweet & Sour (I show the "On the Border" mix.  Fun Fact: OTB & Chili's are owned by the same company - Brinker) 
2         Lime Wedges

Start by putting 4-5 ice cubes into a martini shaker
Squeeze one lime wedge over the ice, and drop same wedge into the shaker
Add the rest of the ingredients
Shake 8-10 times

Strain into large iced (& salted?) martini or margarita glass
Garnish with 2nd lime wedge 

You may be asking: "Craig, how often do you enjoy these?"
Never.
In order to make this the correct way, the liquors are just too expensive.
Seriously, have you met me???