Rock Lobster

It's an ocean creature.

 It's a Family Guy episode.

 It's a hit song by the B-52s.

And it's a pretty good frozen cocktail, too.

ROCK LOBSTER

1    oz        Coconut Rum

1/2 oz        Banana Liqueur
1/2 oz        Pineapple Juice

1/2 oz        Orange Juice

1/2             Banana

dash          Grenadine

~cup          Ice

1/2 oz        Dark Rum

Put all ingredients EXCEPT the dark rum into a blender.

Blend until smooth. 

Pour into a chilled glass mug. 

Top it off with the dark rum.

 

Creamsicle

There were 2 big current event stories available to tie-in this week.

James Gandolfini died.

 

 But I had nothing to work with there because I don't like Mob genre movies/TV.

The Miami Heat won the NBA Championship.

But I can't stand this freak:

And I REALLY don't like these two pansies:

So I decided to go with something I do like.  Creamsicles.

Really, what's not to like about delicious ice cream novelties and the wonderful, whimsical, musical trucks that they are sold from?

Well yeah, I mean aside from that factor...

CREAMSICLE

1  oz        Amaretto
1  oz        Triple Sec
2  oz        Orange Juice     

2  oz        Half & Half

   
Shake ingredients (no ice necessary in shaker)
Pour into highball (or regular 12 oz drinking glass) filled with ice
Leave me a comment if you think it doesn't taste like this:

 

Hawaiian Punch

Do you remember the old Hawaiian Punch commercials?

Yeah, that guy.  Punchy the Puncher would exclaim: “How about some nice Hawaiian Punch?” then proceed to knock the crap out of his victim.  So, the mascot for the product quite LITERALLY fulfilled the product name.
The potential here is off the chart...







HAWAIIAN PUNCH COCKTAIL



1.5  oz     Peach Schnapps
1     oz     Amaretto
2     oz     Pineapple Juice
1     oz     Cranberry Juice
1/2  oz     Grenadine
 
Fill highball (or regular 12 oz drinking glass) 3/4 with ice
Add everything Stir
Offer some to your friend
Punch friend in the head

This cocktail has 10 times more fruit juice in it than the original product does. 
So, try it.  It's healthy!

Daiquiri

But....but...you've done this one already!

No, I've done that frozen thing with strawberries.  This is the traditional Daiquiri AKA "the favorite drink of Ernest Hemingway":

"Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut." 
 
Sound advice from the Old Man.


1.5 oz Rum
3/4 oz Fresh Lime Juice (fresh is important)
1/4 oz simple syrup* 

Add all 3 ingredients to a martini shake 1/2 full of ice
Shake vigorously
Strain into a chilled cocktail (martini) glass

This drink is almost good enough to forgive "Papa" Hemingway for this:

Almost.




* Make your own at home.  2 parts sugar to one part water.  Boil the water, add the sugar until fully dissolved, let it cool, then use it.  Any extra will keep in the fridge for a while.